The Monkey has left the White House

“”I, Barack Hussein Obama, do solemnly swear that I will execute the office of President of the United States faithfully, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.”

The Reign of Stupid is over.  Woohoo!

Published in: on January 20, 2009 at 9:00 pm  Comments (10)  

Boro Park WMD’s

Since our country invaded Iraq, we’ve heard a lot of talk about WMD’s.  Which countries have them?  Will they use them against us?  How prevalent are they?  Unfortunately, there are many WMD’s right here in our own backyards, capable of injuring or killing many innocent people.

The weapons in questions?  Carelessly driven vehicles.

One afternoon, I was out with the Queen Mom and Things 1 and 2 in their Graco Duo Glider.  We reached the intersection of 19th Avenue and 50th St., and prepared to cross.  Now, the intersection in question has a stop sign.  So we were totally unprepared for not one, not two, but five cars running that stop sign, one right after the other!  All five were driven by frum Jews.  To make matters worse, there is a school right on that corner.  Those drivers who ran that stop sign were putting every child and teacher in that school at risk.

I wish I could say that this is an isolated incident.  Unfortunately, it is not.  I have lost count of the number of times I have been almost hit by a driver running a stop sign, turning against a light, or drving while on a cell phone.  Most, if not all of them, were frum people!

To all drivers: Yes, I know this city is crowded.  Yes, I know that you’re in a hurry.  But road laws were not put in place to annoy you.  They are there to protect other drvers and pedestrians.  The old couple on Ocean Parkway that you nearly ran over could be your parents.  The mother with her baby carriage could be your sister (when it comes to bad driving, women are just as guilty as men).  The schoolchildren could be your own children.  Bad driving is not only unsafe, it is a major chillul Hashem.  Please remember the following

1. Stop signs are not suggestions.  Same goes for red lights.

2. The pedestrian in front of you is not surroundeed by two tons of steel and padding.  You are.  In case of an accident, the odds are slightly in your favor.  Please give them the right of way.

3. Unless you are in Hatzoloh or Shomrim, there is no excuse to be driving and talking on a cell phone.  Studies have shown the combination can cause more accidents than drinking and alcohol.  If you need to call someone, pull off the road.  If someone is calling you, let it go to voicemail.  (And, if you are in Hatzoloh, the only excuse is getting directions to save someone’s life.  I’d better see a siren on.)

4. I don’t really want to hear excuses about “the obnoxious guy behind you.”  Let him honk.  If he wants to run the stop sign, fine.  It’s his ticket.  Don’t let it be yours.

Yes, New York has a reputation for obnoxious drivers.  But frum Jews should not be among them.  We are not permitted to eat or dress like the goyim around us.  We shouldn’t have to drive like them.

Published in: on January 12, 2009 at 10:48 am  Leave a Comment  

Waah!

Today, Thing 1 had a playdate with her cousins.  A seven-hour playdate Without Me!  Waah!

Her four-year-old cousin likes to play “school.”  Naturally, Four-Year-Old Cousin is the “teacher” and Thing 1 is the “student.”  Today, after her playdate, Thing 1 tells me “Want go to school.”  Waah!

Further conversation with Thing 1 revealerd of course, that Thing 1 has no idea what “school” is.  She was  just parroting what her older cousin was playing.  She’d probably say “Want a hand grenade” if someone talked about them to her.  Later, I asked if she’d like to “play school with Mommy,” she said “want play school with Mommy.”

OK.  The natural order is restored.  My baby still loves me.

But today I learned that Thing 1 is growing up.  One day she won’t need me anymore.

Waah!

Published in: on January 11, 2009 at 1:10 am  Leave a Comment  

Happy New Year!

Happy 2009 to all!  Only 20 days until Barack Obama takes office (w00t!)

Published in: on January 1, 2009 at 12:13 pm  Leave a Comment